


Darcy Wields Mew Mew

by Jazz_Me_Swing_Me



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-01-21 15:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazz_Me_Swing_Me/pseuds/Jazz_Me_Swing_Me
Summary: Series of one shots that branch off a Bland Marvel Headcannon on my Pinterest.BMH: Darcy is actually able to lift Mjolnir, but is no longer allowed to because the first time she did she leveled a car lot, no one car, but an entire dealership.





	1. Darcy is Worthy, and Very Sorry, but Not Really

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I in no way own Marvel or any of the films of the MCU, nor do I take credit for the Bland Marvel Headcannon that sparked this fic.
> 
> This is not a stolen work, I first posted this on FFN under the username fire in my eyes. If you recognize it that is why.

"Hey, big guy, so I always wondered what that strange alien writing on Mew Mew says." Darcy chirped at Thor's elbow as they stood upon the roof of a used car dealership. They'd come up there for what Darcy liked to call their Hammershock Time. They chose the dealership because it reminded them of the service station in Puente Antigua. Thor looked down at Mjolnir attached to his belt at her words.

"It says, whoever lifts this hammer, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."

"Sweet. So like, if someone else could lift it, would you have to fight till the death for your throne or something?"

"No, I am rightful heir to the throne, therefore no one else may rule, especially one who is not an Aesir. They would merely be able to wield Mjolnir, and call forth lightning." Darcy's eyes bugged, then took on a gleam of mischief reminiscent of Loki that gave Thor's heart a sad but affectionate twinge. Thor thought he could guess what was going through Darcy's mind, and decided in that moment to humor her so that he could witness her brand of mischief.

"Could I try? Please, please, please?" she confirmed his suspicions giddily. Thor couldn't help but chuckle at her excitement, and detached Mjolnir from his waist and sat it at her feet. Thor stepped back, crossed his arms and smiled, waiting to see her struggle with his weapon. He imagined she'd give it a valiant attempt, and when she was unable to lift it would crack a joke about how it was no wonder his arms were so drool worthy. Yet, completely shocking Thor speechless, Darcy gave a girly squeal and lifted Mjolnir from the rooftop.

"Fuck yeah!" she exclaimed happily, and with a saucy hip wiggled thrust Mjolnir into the air above her head. This broke Thor out of his shock, and nearly gave him a heart attack.

"Darcy!" he cried, hoping to stop her somehow before she called forth lightning, but knowing he'd be too late.

Dark clouds formed in the sky, thunder boomed, and with a crack lightning shot down to Mjolnir. With a screech of terror Darcy flung her arm out away from herself, and leveled the dealership below them. Cars flipped and exploded into fireballs that Darcy and Thor would later marvel at. The ground shook, concrete splitting and rising, and with a drop to her stomach Darcy felt them start to fall as the building came crumbling down. Thor grabbed Darcy by the waist, took Mjolnir from her hand, and just in time managed to get them airborne. 

They landed across the street from the now desolated dealership. Darcy stared at the destruction she'd caused, mouth agape. Thor, concerned for her, rushed to assure her that it was all right and not her fault, but she struck him speechless once again. 

"That. Was. Awesome!" she turned and grinned up at Thor, a maniacal gleam in her eyes. Thor mirrored her grin. He couldn't help but to think that she and Loki would have liked each other well, and wished she could have met him. Then he thought about the havoc they would wreak together and shuddered. Perhaps it was a good thing they'd never met.

"Now I understand why you were freaking out when you crash landed here without Mew Mew." Thor looked mildly offended at that. 

"It is Mjolnir, and I did not 'freak out'." Thor defended.

"That's what I said Mew Mew. And you totally freaked out. You were all 'Hammer Hammer'." She mocked in a surprisingly good imitation of him. They bickered like siblings about the pronunciation of Mjolnir and his freak out until SHIELD agents arrived on scene about ten minutes after she'd leveled the place. Fury and Natasha were amongst the cleanup team, and headed straight for Thor and Darcy. Thor thought about taking the blame for the destruction, but still smarting over Darcy's slight against him and his hammer he decided not to.

"Care to explain what the hell happened here?" Fury demanded more than asked. Darcy would never admit it, but he intimidated the ever-loving shit out of her so she tried to play it cool and keep her mouth shut. In true cliché form, she put her hands behind her back, lifted her head and started to whistle a cherry tune. Natasha and Fury leveled their glares on her instantly.

"How exactly is this your fault?" Natasha asked.

"What makes you think it's my fault? It's his hammer."

"Did she insult your manhood, or question your power?" Natasha turned to Thor.

"Nay, she did this herself." He responded simply.

"How exactly did she manage that?" Fury demanded.

"She wanted to attempt to lift Mjolnir, so I placed it at her feet, and she lifted her quite easily. She did not fully comprehend the power she wielded. " A moment of shocked silence passed. Both Natasha and Fury looked equally disbelieving and surprised. There was so much surprise that Darcy got a little offended.

"What? You think I'm not worthy enough? Guess what bitches, I totally am." In the end Fury decided not to believe her, despite the video footage that supported her claims, and Natasha instructed Thor never to allow Darcy near Mjolnir again. Thor needed no persuading, and despite Darcy's numerous attempts, has not given into her mischievous whims again.

Much later, when the Avengers were enjoying some down time in the Avengers Tower, Tony decided to start a game of who can lift Mjolnir. Steve managed to budge it, and for a split second Thor's smug smirk slipped into a concerned frown. He feared another incident like the one Darcy had caused, but when Steve couldn't lift it Thor and Natasha shared a knowing smile. Both thinking about Darcy's handling of Mjolnir, and how none of the Avengers would believe she unlike them could lift it. Then thinking about how Darcy would react to the game he said urgently to Natasha. 

"Darcy can never hear of this." With a laugh, Natasha agreed.


	2. Darcy Lewis, Goddess of Mayhem and Discord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy goes to Asgard, and meets Loki.

“Darcy, let it go.” Jane groused, exasperated by the constant interruption of her SCIENCE! Time. Darcy had been whining about Thor letting the Avengers play around with his hammer. As if that wasn’t asking for sex jokes. At first Jane had been amused. She’d heard all about Darcy’s mishap with Mjolnir, and Thor’s lovesick recounting of how fierce-some she had looked wielding his weapon. Again another dirty joke opportunity.

Jane had long ago accepted that Darcy and Thor were more suited for each other than she and Thor, and had even tried to push the two together. That wasn’t happening as fast as she’d thought it would, both seemed content to deny their increasing romantic feelings for one another under familial affection. It was obvious to everyone they knew that the two were star-crossed, and head over heels for each other. Sometimes Jane just wanted to scream at the both of them to just jump each other and be done with it. This Mjolnir situation was no different from their mating dance of awkward. Darcy didn’t want to tell Thor she was upset that he’d let the Avengers try to lift Mjolnir, but wouldn’t let her show them that she could do it.

 

Jane had been there when Darcy had found out, and seen how upset she’d been when Steve laughed, not in a mean way, when Darcy proudly declared she had lifted Mjolnir once. In Steve’s defense, he wasn’t yet caught up on 21st century humor and thought it was just another one of Darcy’s jokes that he never got. To Darcy it had felt like an adult laughing at a silly child who thought they could do something they clearly would never do. As if someone being able to do unbelievable things was actually unbelievable in this crew. Jane was a little disappointed in the Captain for discounting Darcy so easily, but she didn’t say anything to him. Not that she wouldn’t stand up for her friend, but she really didn’t want this Mjolnir thing to get out of hand again. After all the last time Darcy had held Mjolnir she leveled a car dealership. No, Jane decided it was best left as is, and they should all just move on from it. Unfortunately, Darcy didn’t seem able to.

 

“Let it go? Are you kidding me? Captain freaking America laughed in my face. Sweet as apple pie, good ol’ boy, Steve Rogers, laughed in my face, Jane. How am I supposed to let that go? As if I, Darcy Lewis, couldn’t possibly be more worthy than the freakin’ Avengers. No, I’m just the stupid poli-sci drop out that SHIELD let tag along because I saw too much.” Jane had never heard Darcy speak badly about herself. As much as Jane was tired of Darcy’s moping, it was mostly because she was her friend and didn’t like it when she was upset. Jane knew none of the Avengers or their squishy friends (as Darcy had dubbed them) would ever think of Darcy that way, but they’d all somehow managed to make her think it of herself.

 

“Darcy, no one thinks that about you. So what Steve doesn’t believe you could lift Mjolnir, many more people do. Fury, Natasha, Thor and I, all know you can and have. You’ve never cared what anyone thinks of you. Why are you letting it bother you now?”

 

“I’ve never had to compete with honest to Thor superheroes before, Jane. Seriously, not only are they Avengers but their squishy people are either super geniuses or a powerhouse CEO of the world’s most lucrative industry. How else am I supposed to feel?”

 

“Darcy-

 

“No, forget it. I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. Go back to your science. I’m going to get some coffee.” The fact that Darcy said that without any inflection and no implied capital letters in the word science made Jane realize this wasn’t Darcy’s usual complaining. Darcy wasn’t going to get over this quickly, and joke about it tomorrow. If Jane couldn’t get through to Darcy only one other person could. She had to go find Thor, and for once SCIENCE! was going to have to wait.  
   
Thor was not pleased, in fact he was angry enough to conjure lightning, only he didn’t know who to use it on. Himself, Steve, or Nick Fury? Himself for not knowing how upset Darcy was and how they’d all inadvertently made her feel. Steve for laughing at her instead of believing in her. And Nick Fury for refusing to admit what he knew to be true, and not allowing Darcy the opportunity to prove herself worthy to the Avengers. Many people would have to answer for this, and Thor would make sure they all did, and since Steve was the closest, he would be the first.

 

“Steven, I must speak with you.” Steve stopped what his was doing at the sound of his name. The fact that it was Thor who had called him that concerned him. Usually the Asgardian called him shield brother or Captain, and his voice was always jovial. He sounded angry, and that also concerned Steve, not much angered Thor.

 

“What’s up Thor? Everything alright?”

 

“No. You have upset Darcy, and you need to atone for your actions.”

 

“When did I upset her, how did I?” Steve was confused.

 

“You laughed at her when she told you she’d lifted Mjolnir. You, who better than anyone should know what it is to be discounted as weak and unworthy, did not believe her to be. What do you have to say for yourself? And be careful what you say, shield brother or no, I will not hesitate to use Mjolnir against you.”

 

“Whoa, hold on. Darcy really did lift Mjolnir? I thought it was a joke. You know I don’t always understand what she says, and usually half of what she’s saying is supposed to be a joke. I just assumed that was too.”

 

“It was not. The Widow, and Fury both know that Darcy has wielded Mjolnir, and because they were afraid of what she would do they ordered her never to do so again. Make no mistake brother, Darcy is worthy, even more worthy than you.”

 

“Wow. Um, yeah, I’ll apologize to her, Thor. I really am sorry.”

 

“Good, I will not have to battle you for her honor. I am relieved, I did not wish to bear arms against a fellow shield brother. I must now go find Darcy and make amends myself.”

 

“Wait, why won’t Fury and Tash let Darcy handle Mjolnir again?” Thor just laughed.

 

“You should ask Darcy when we return and you apologize.”

 

“Return from where?”

 

“Asgard.”  
 

 

“Holy crap. No wonder you scoffed at Tony’s penthouse.”   
Thor had apologized to Darcy, and reassured her many times that she was worthy of Mjolnir, and as such of Asgard. To prove his point he took her to his realm, and he was never so proud of his place of birth as he was when he saw the awe in her eyes. She was beautiful to him, worthy of Mjolnir, worthy of Asgard, and he hoped one day she would come to believe him worthy as she was. He’d known for some time that he was in love with the young mortal, despite his distraction over Jane’s in- your- face beauty. Jane was the first one to catch his eye, but Darcy was the first to catch his heart. He was hesitant to tell her, though he couldn’t be sure why, he’d never been hesitant before. His feelings were returned this he knew, Jane had told him, but it would not be easy for her to be bound to him. As heir to the throne of Asgard whomever he took as wife would have to be tested by Odin. Odin’s test would not be easy on an Asgardian, let alone a mortal woman. Thor did not doubt her worth, but Odin would. For now Thor would simply enjoy the wonder of Asgard through his mortal’s eyes, and worry about proving her worth to his father later.

 

“I did not scoff, I merely was not as impressed as he wished I had been.”

 

“For you that is scoffing. Tony’s face when you called his home humble was the most hilarious thing I’d ever seen.” Darcy laughed, and Thor’s stomach clenched, and his chest near burst with affection for her. He was, as Jane would say, so screwed.

 

 

They had been in Asgard less than two hours and already Darcy had managed to offend the Allfather, endear his mother, swap clothing with Sif, eat too much with Volstagg, convinced Hogun to let her carry his sword (and made him SMILE!), and she had made Fandral cry. Now she was nowhere to be found, and Thor was worried. There was no telling what could happen with Darcy on the loose and unsupervised. She could cause an inter-realm war, or she could be reenacting some Midgardian film she’d been trying to convince him to watch, something about a Lion that talks and kids who walk through wardrobes. Or she could be with Heimdall being taught the ways of the universe. There really was no way of knowing what she would do, create chaos and destruction, or bring peace and laughter to the nine realms. It was no wonder why he loved her, but it was not an easy thing either. When Thor finally found her he was both relieved, and fearful. 

She had somehow managed to find the dungeons, slipped past the many guards, and located his brother’s cell. Thor did not let himself expect anything of the encounter, because he knew not what to expect with those two. Laughter was one of those things that would have been expected, and also feared. Loki used to laugh a lot before his fall, then his laughter had become dark and maniacal. The laughter he could hear from his brother made him want to weep, for it was the laughter of better times, and good blood between them. As he approached Darcy’s voice reached him along with Loki’s calming chuckles.

 

“…I swear I thought Nick’s remaining eye was going to fall out of his head. He’s in so much denial now though. Like your muscles have to have muscles in order to pick up Mew Mew.” Loki laughed again, and Thor was sure it was because she’d called Mjolnir Mew Mew. Again. Despite how many times Thor had tried to correct her pronunciation she refused to call it anything else.

 

“You, I must say, are an amusing mortal. Had you but been around during my short rein on Midgard.” Loki mused humorously. Thor shuddered again at the thought of what the two of them could do together, and in an effort to shake of the possessive anger he felt.

 

“Yeah, dude, you totally blew it that time. You should have mind whammied Natasha, she gets shit done.” Loki’s smile was equal parts amused, regretful, and impressed.

 

“Indeed she does, and you would have been a worthy ally too, Lady Darcy.”

 

“Thanks, man it’s sad when the villain thinks you’re more worthy than the good guys do, but Thor set them straight and Captain America totally groveled for forgiveness, which was awesome. Also hilarious, cause he looked like a scolded child, only you know six foot damn with muscles on top of muscles.”

 

“You certainly have a way with words.” Again Loki was amused, and for the first time in too long his eyes were void of madness, and he seemed unburdened. Thor fell a little more in love with Darcy in that moment. He would have continued to watch them secretly had his brother not noticed him just then. For a moment Loki looked pleased to see him, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he were not in a cell facing punishment for his crimes, and Thor was once again reminded of better times. It was gone too soon, and a mask was dropped into place over Loki’s face. It was not the look of hatred and mocking that Thor had seen too often of late, but it was not the welcoming look he’d wanted.

 

“Brother, I see you have met Darcy.”

 

“Indeed. She is not what I expected from a comrade of yours.” Loki smiled at Darcy, as if to tell her this was not a slight on her, but on Thor. Thor did not know what to feel about that.

 

“She is unlike anyone I have ever met, and yet reminds me of you. No matter how many years I live, I am doubtful I would ever meet anyone as wonderful.” Thor spoke sincerely, and Darcy near about melted into a puddle, and even Loki felt a little emotion at Thor’s words. Loki could tell how Thor felt about the woman, and to be compared to him in a good light was not something Loki would have anticipated. Of course he did not let himself feel the warmth of nice words for long, he had an image to uphold, and was not yet ready to let go of his grudge.

 

“Perhaps you should have her named Goddess, so that all of Asgard knows her worth and standing with their future king.”

 

“Perhaps I shall. What would you have her be Goddess of, brother?” Thor queried. The thought appealed to him greatly, and Loki, silver tongued as he was, would know the perfect title.

 

“Why of Mayhem and Discord of course.” Loki smiled crookedly. Darcy beamed like she’d just been paid the highest compliment. Thor could not help but laugh. 

 

“It suits her perfectly. Lady Darcy, Goddess of Mayhem and Discord. I like it.”

 

“So do I, can we get that in writing or something? Do I get powers too? Can have a Mew Mew of my own?” both Loki and Thor laughed at this.

 

“All of the nine realms would quake in fear if you possessed power to suit your title.”

 

“What a lovely sight that would make.” Loki added. Darcy just giggled. Oh how he wanted to make her Queen, and watch the universe cringe. He felt a little like Loki’s madness had rubbed off on him, and for the first time in all their years as brother’s Thor finally understood Loki’s penchant for mischief and chaos.


	3. Gifts, Kisses, and Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Thor return from Asgard bearing gifts, and Thor has made up his mind. Finally.

When Darcy and Thor got back from Asgard, Darcy loaded down with souvenirs and still wearing Sif's armor, Nick Fury was waiting for them. Neither of them were concerned with the fierce look on his face. Darcy because she was still riding the high of happiness she'd gotten being in Asgard. Thor because he still had a bone to pick with the man of Fury.

 

"Debrief, Nicholas?" Darcy chirped, still grinning. Every time Thor looked at her he could feel a ridiculously besotted smile on his face. Fury didn't have that problem.

 

"I have half a mind to send you back to Norway, Lewis." Nick growled. The sky darkened with storm clouds, Thor's grip on Mjolnir tightened. Darcy looked up at the clouds, then at Nick with a raised eyebrow.

 

"That wouldn't work, Thor can fly and Heimdal can see me wherever I am. What's got your panties in a twist anyway? Cause I got you a souvenir." Grin back on her face Darcy started digging through the mess in her arms. Coming up with a bundle wrapped in pure silk, thrusting it out to the stoic leader of S.H.I.E.L.D. He ignored it in favor of his planned lecture.

 

"Do you have any idea the damage you could have caused? With your mouth and its tendency to say the worse possible things, you could have started an inter realm war. We have a tentative peace treaty with Asgard, you have the potential to destroy that in less than a day." Fury was in full intimidation mode, directed right at Darcy, and deflating her good mood. Thor wasn't having that.

 

"Nicholas Fury, you are the only one in danger of negating our peace treaty. This is the second time you have upset my Lady Darcy, I will not allow it to continue to go on." Fury studied Thor for a time, contemplating him, his words, and the deceivably ordinary girl at his side.

 

"Your Lady Darcy? Well, that changes things. I may have to keep you around, Lewis. God help us all." with that Fury turned and walked away, after grabbing the still outstretched parcel in Darcy's hand. Thor made to go after him, since Fury had yet to apologize to Darcy, but her hand on his forearm stopped him. Yum, muscles, Darcy couldn't help but think. Nor could she help the distracted arm rubbing. Thor just smiled besotted again.

 

"Let’s go see the others and give them their gifts. Tony's going to be so jealous, I can't wait to see his face when he gets his souvenir." She literally bounced into the elevator, and Thor had to swallow hard at what it did for her curves. It was time he told her of his feelings, time he started courting her so he'd have the right to put his hands on those amazing curves.

 

Darcy was right, Tony's face was priceless when he was presented with his souvenir. It was a solid gold statue in the likeness of Iron Man. Thor had shown Darcy all of Asgard, including the craftsmen. Once they'd told her they'd built all of the grand statues in the palace she had to have one made for Tony. It was literally the only thing in the universe you could get that the billionaire didn't already have. Of course it may not have taken long before Tony had a golden statue made for himself, but it wouldn't have come from another realm. He even teared up a little at the sight of it. His mouth dropped open, and he took it as gently as one might handle a newborn baby. With an emotion chocked whisper he thanked her.

 

"Thanks, Stacked, this is the best present I've ever gotten." Then to cover for his forgetting he was an unaffected, emotionless man child he followed his thanks up with a lewd comment.

 

"You know, since you won't sleep with me that is. As consolation prizes go it’s awesome."

 

"Don't ruin the moment, Tony, by making Thor hit you with his hammer." Bruce advised. Since he spoke up Darcy decided to give him his present next. It was the Asgardian equivalent of tea, she explained to him that Hogun often drinks it for his peace of mind. He smiled, a little besotted himself, at her, and thanked her very sincerely with nary a lewd comment made.

Everyone else was given their souvenirs, thanking her one by one and in some cases hugging her. Natasha was gifted an Asgardian knife set, made of the sharpest materials of the highest quality guaranteed to never dull or rust. Clint was given an ornately carved set of arrows in a beautifully made quiver, he also seemed to be a little emotional, probably because of his Robin Hood fetish. Steve got a set of lead and brushes and paints rolled into a soft blue wrap, made from a material no one but Thor could pronounce. Asgard, he was told, was home to the most talented artists in all the nine realms, and such a gift was only given to those with equal skill. He blushed, and teared up a little, and thanked Darcy in his apple pie, awe shucks sort of way. Jane and Pepper were given gorgeous gowns, made from the finest silks, and even though Jane was an astrophysicist who frequently forgot to shower and change her clothes, was still a woman under it all and squealed just as delightedly as Pepper.

With the gift giving over with everyone went about their busy lives, except Thor who took Darcy by the hand and lead her out onto the balcony. He had his serious face on, and Darcy wasn't sure whether to find it endearing or be worried. Thor hadn't said anything on Asgard about her antics, and had stood up for her against Fury, but he could have been waiting to do it in private so he wouldn't humiliate her. She braced herself for his admonishment, admittedly the only one that would work on her, when his words shocked her to the core.

 

"I have been enchanted by you from the first moment of our meeting, and if it is agreeable to you I would wish to court you." His words were formal, but Darcy totally got the meaning. Thor, freaking God of Thunder, wanted to date her. Her, Darcy Lewis, unpaid intern to Jane Foster brilliant and beautiful astrophysicist. Even with that, metaphorically large, shadow next to her miniscule one Thor had not only noticed her, but he'd wanted her. She of course hadn't been blind or oblivious to his long looks at her body, who wouldn't look, or the occasional flirting, but she'd never thought he might actually feel anything other than brotherly affection. She'd almost resigned herself to unrequited love.

 

"Is this not something you wish? I had thought that your lingering looks and touches on my person were indicative of your romantic inclinations to me. If I have been mistaken I apologize, and I hope this does not affect our friendship."

He looked scared, and sad and Darcy just couldn't help herself. What was a girl supposed to do when the God of Thunder declares his feelings for her? Why, kiss him of course. And that is exactly what she did. As soon as he'd stopped speaking she leapt at him, his battle honed reflexes had him catching her, bringing her up further once her mouth had connected with his. The kiss was hot, desperate, and elated. She may have giggled a little hysterically, until his tongue swiped against her own then she moaned and sunk into it.

 

Several long, and mind blowing minutes later they came up for air. Thor still had her hoisted a least a foot off the ground, large hard hands on her ass. They stared at each other, breathing heavy eyes dilated with arousal, then Thor's huge grin spread across his handsome face.

 

"I take this to mean you are receptive to my offer of courtship?" he asked, half joking.

 

"Hell yeah, as long as that means you want to date me with the guarantee of hot sex." Thor's eyes got a little darker, and his grin a little wicked.

 

"It does. It also means I intend to make you my betrothed. I enter this courtship with the intention of marriage, Darcy. That would mean you will one day rule Asgard at my side if you agree to have me." Her heart nearly stopped at that. It was one thing being told you were wanted by Thor, but another thing entirely for him to say he wanted you to rule an entire realm as his wife.

 

"Are you sure that you're asking the right person? I mean, I'm Darcy, they don't even allow me to leave the Tower unsupervised, why would you want me ruling a world?"

 

"I am aware of who you are, Darcy. You are the only one I would wish to spend the rest of my long life with. You are exactly what Asgard needs, and exactly what I need. I knew for certain when we were in Asgard together and you'd managed to impress nearly everyone I care for. Most telling of all was when I found you with my brother, and for the time you were with him he was as I remembered him being before his fall. If you can, even momentarily, do what none other has been able to, then you are worthy of the throne." Now Darcy was starting to tear up. What a strange but amazeballs day she'd had. First she'd gone to Asgard, met beautiful people, seen beautiful things, and now she was basically being proposed to by its future king. What even is my life right now, she thought.

 

"As long as you're one hundred percent sure you know what you're getting into. Because now that you've put the idea in my head I'm not letting it go. I'm going to be your wife, and I'm going to be queen of a fuck awesome realm one day, and you better not try and back out, cause I'll tase you again." Thor threw back his head and laughed. He kissed her again, hard and fast, before speaking.

 

"I am sure, and I will not 'back out' you are what I want, and I cannot wait to see the look on my father's face when I announce our betrothal."

 

"There may be a little Loki in you, you know. That is a sinister smirk you've got right now. You know what it’s kind of sexy. Yeah, it’s doing really great things for my lady parts." Unable and unwilling to pass up that obvious invitation Thor carried her off to his suite of rooms to finish the very great day off with a bang.


	4. Taste the Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Thor's family and friends on Asgard love Midgardian candy, and ask him to bring some back every time he visits. 
> 
> This is my version of the backstory to this headcannon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to reply to all of your lovely reviews this morning, but I did read them and enjoyed them very much. Thank you for your support, and for loving this. Also, this chapter answers all of your questions about Fury's gift, hopefully you like it.

At Thor's request, Fury called a meeting with the Avengers and Co. Those in attendance that were not Avengers were Darcy (Duh!), Maria Hill, Pepper Potts, and Jane. Normally there would have been a lot of chatter amongst this group, but everyone was too busy staring at Nick Fury to speak. Some were goggling- Steve, Clint, Jane, Pepper, and Bruce- some were looking with raised brows- Natasha and Maria- Tony was grinning maniacally and taking pictures, and Thor surprisingly was calmly expressionless.

 

"Did you do that?" Tony asked Darcy gleefully.

 

"Yeah I did." She answered, proud of her gift choices, and overly excited to see Fury actually wearing the shiny gold cape-like trench coat. Every time he moved, light sparked off it, making him look simultaneously badass and glitzy.

 

"I can't believe this." Tony cackled, snapping another picture. Fury leveled his glare at the billionaire, which of course did nothing to deter him.

 

"If you're done Mr. Stark, I'd like to get this over with." Fury growled.

 

"By all means, Fury of the shiny gold cape, take it away." Fury just sighed and addressed the room.

 

"For the record I am only doing this for the sake of our peace treaty with Asgard. Darcy Lewis has wielded Mjolnir, and due to the destruction-"

 

"Totally accidental." She cut in.

 

"I ordered her never to touch it again, and was hoping to keep the incident hushed. You should all now know she is worthy of Thor's hammer (Tony snickered and was kicked by Pepper), and she may possibly be more dangerous than Loki. That's all I have to say."  
Before anyone could leave, or start incessantly chattering about Fury's declaration, or in Tony's case his shiny cape, Thor brought their attention to him.

 

"There is something I'd also like to say." Thor stood, everyone's focus now on him, and looked fondly at Darcy.

 

"Lady Darcy accepted my courtship of her, and this morning she accepted my betrothal."  
Applause, whoops, cheers of congratulations, and in Tony's case 'finally!' all sounded immediately. Thor and Darcy were passed around the room, given hugs, back slaps, and handshakes. Or in Tony's case eyebrow wiggles, hammer jokes, and an attempted groping (of both Thor and Darcy's asses).

 

With their Midgardian family and friends in the know, Darcy and Thor were off to tell the Asgardians. Somehow, Darcy didn't think it would go as well, so decided to buy them candy. Candy, in her mind, made everything better.  
She got Skittles for Odin, because rainbow bridge. Milky Ways for Heimdall. Sour Patch Kids for Loki, he wouldn't get the irony but she would get a nice chuckle out of it. Snickers for Volstag, Starbursts for Sif, Twizzlers for Fandral, and Andes Mints for Hogun. Finally, for Lady Frigga, Godiva chocolate. No expense spared for the universe's best future mother-in-law. Thor also insisted on bringing them all coffee. Darcy couldn't wait to see a bunch of Asgardians hyped up on sugar and caffeine. She'd even borrowed Tony's Stark Pad to get video evidence.

 

After the psychedelic, kaleidoscope ride through a wormhole, Darcy smiled widely at Asgard's gatekeeper. With, in typical Darcy fashion, a hug of greeting she thrust the bag of Milky Ways into Heimdall's hands.

 

"What is this, Lady Darcy?" he asked with warm, amused curiosity.

 

"A gift. Its Midgardian candy, tastes delicious. Just don't eat the whole bag at once. I tried that, it didn't end well."  
Humbly he bowed at the waist. 

"Thank you Lady Darcy."

 

"You're welcome. If you like them I'll bring more next time."

 

With a knowing look he asked Thor. "And will there be a next time?"

 

"It is my intention. How fares Asgard since last we were here?" Thor asked.

 

"Quite well. However, there has been much talk of your Lady. You made quite the impression on your last visit." He added the last to Darcy with a wink. She smile-cringed.

 

"Hopefully mostly a good one."

 

"Indeed." He hummed.

 

"We're to see my father first, Heimdall, let not word of us being here slip just yet."

 

"I shall hold the confidence. I hope you will be back with good news." He smiled.

 

"Fingers crossed." Darcy said as Thor lead her down the rainbow road.

 

Happily, Odin received Darcy's Skittle peace offering with a smile. There was a look in his eyes she couldn't name, but Thor recognized as nostalgic. It seemed he wasn't the only one whom Darcy reminded of a saner Loki.

 

"I did not anticipate another visit so soon, my son." Odin commented slyly. Being the All-Father he knew of his heir's intent to marry the brash Midgardian. He had to admit, only to himself mind, that he was humorously fond of her. His first encounter with the girl had resulted in her pithy remarks on his parenting skills, and calling him an ostentatious pirate. Her boldness of tongue and love of chaos, and the humor she found in all things endeared him to her. Much like his wayward son before his fall. What decided Odin, however, on her worthiness was the change she'd created in aforementioned son in such short time.

 

"Lady Darcy has accepted my offer of betrothal. I am here to ask your blessing, father."

 

"I suspected as much would happen. I need not remind you she is Midgardian, and therefore must be tested and deemed worthy of Asgard's throne and Idun's apples." Thor smirked superiorly at his father now.

 

"She has already been tested and deemed worthy by your own decree."

 

With an intimidating growl Odin demanded. "Explain yourself."

 

"When you banished me to Midgard, you enchanted Mjolnir. Do you recall your words, father?"

 

"I may be old but I have not yet lost my faculties. Whomever wield this hammer, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."

 

"By your own words, as the heir to the throne is worthy, that person would also be worthy of the throne." Thor picked up. "Darcy has wielded Mjolnir with ease. She is worthy."

 

Frigga, silent until now because the power of Godiva is great, gasped with shock. She looked at Darcy in awe and pride only a mother could feel. Unlike Odin, she was willing to love Darcy simply because her son did, but Darcy managed to make Frigga love her for simply being her. If what Thor said was true then she was looking at her future daughter-in-law, as the Midgardians called it. Odin was also looking at Darcy, but in contemplation and slight disbelief.

 

"I cannot base such decision on your word alone, my son. As the All-Father I must over see her test and declare her worthy to all of Asgard."

 

In acquiescence, Thor nodded. He turned to Darcy, kissed her in encouragement, then laid Mjolnir at her feet and stepped back. Feeling giddy after Thor's kiss she didn't even hesitate. Bending she wrapped her hand around the handle then straightened back up. Mjolnir came up gripped tightly in her hand with ease. Remembering the last time she'd done this Darcy resisted the urge to strike a victorious pose. She couldn't resist the giggles, though at the look on Odin's face.

 

Much later, after Odin very loudly announced Darcy's worthiness of Thor and throne, she recounted the look with Loki. The two of them giggled over it while enjoying Sour Patch Kids candy, which Frigga had gotten a guard to slip into Loki's cell. Darcy had been right, he didn't get the joke, but he did really like the candy.

 

"I never would have believed Thor could surprise me. Taking someone such as you as his wife is a great surprise to me. A pleasant one."

 

"That's a relief. You were the future family member I was most worried about. I didn't think you'd like me, and the little brother's opinion is sacred."

 

"Not that you should worry about that, but I don't particularly like anyone."

 

In an inexplicable way, this Midgardian had a way of opening him up. He hadn't felt this light and free since his youth. She had a way about her that called to his mischievous side. When she was around him he wanted to be the old Loki, he wanted to forget his anger, jealousy, and resentments. He wanted to do penance for his crimes so that he could be free again. He would do it differently this time. He would love his brother freely without the shadow of his greatness making him bitter. He would laugh more, with his family instead of at them, or mostly (Thor did often make an ass of himself and what's not to laugh at about that?). Most of all he would be content, would be happy. He did not want or need the throne any longer. Darcy had made him realize all he wanted and needed was his family. For the first time since he let the Frost Giants into Asgard Loki smiled sincerely.

 

"Tell me how Fury looked in his cape." He requested. He wanted to prolong this feeling. Darcy's answering smile made him nostalgic. It was mischief in its most beautiful form.

 

"How about I show you instead?"

 

Loki's laughter could be heard all the way in the throne room. Odin was brought to tears by the nearly forgotten sound. Yes, Darcy Lewis was worthy, and Asgard would never be the same. He was looking forward to seeing how she would change it.


	5. The Avenger Your Avenger Could Smell Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Thor has recreated every Old Spice commercial for the amusement of the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Old Spice or it's commercials. Please don't sue me.
> 
> If you haven't seen the Old Spice commercials with Mustafa, get on You Tube and watch them before reading this, they are hilarious.

"Hello, ladies, look at your Avenger, now back to me, now back to your Avenger, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice he could smell like he's me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a hellicarrier with the Avenger your Avenger could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's my hammer you love so much. Look again, the hammer makes me fly. Anything is possible when your Avenger smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a Hulk."

 

 

 

Darcy would never regret letting Thor watch the Old Spice commercials. Except, damn her ribs hurt.


	6. The One Where Mjolnir is Lassie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a reviewer's request on FFN. Darcy uses Mjolnir to escape her kidnappers.

Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out.

Darcy was totally freaking out. A couple of hours ago she'd been nabbed off the street while on her weekly market shopping excursion, and thrown into the back of a van. The baddies had immediately, and embarrassingly easily, hog tied and blindfolded her. The drive, luckily, to the bad guy lair hadn't taken all that long. Which meant she wasn't that far away from rescue. The problem was no one would know she needed rescuing. They wouldn't realize anything was wrong until they showed up for dinner, and noticed the suspicious lack of lasagna. Tuesdays were lasagna, and Darcy's lasagna was legendary, so they would definitely know something was up when nine o'clock rolled in and there was none to be had. The problem again was that Darcy always left the Tower early in the mornings to do all of her Tuesday Lasagna shopping, and by her gauge, it couldn't be more than two in the afternoon.  
That was a lot of hours in which bad guys could do bad things to her poor, squishy self. Dating, being engaged to, the God of Thunder hadn't really prepared her for this situation. In hindsight, it should have, but Thor was always really great about not letting harm come to her. Thinking of Thor helped calm her racing heart so she focused on him.

 

She pictured the way he smiled every time she handed him a mug of coffee. She'd tell him no smashing and he'd grin boyishly at her, it always melted her. She pictured him in the early mornings, sun slanting in on his golden hair, kissing her sleepily until they were sinking into each other for some beautiful mornin' lovin'. She pictured him laughing a full body laugh while sparring with Hulk, and being told by Steve that he did the same thing in battle. Then she pictured him in battle, footage of the doom bot incident she totally wasn't supposed to see, and how he looked so gorgeously powerful summoning his hammer just to throw it at a doom bot's head.  
Then it hit her. Thor summons Mjolnir when he's in need of her, it, whatever. She could do that, and totally save herself. She wasn't exactly sure how it was done, but she gave it the old college try. Closing her eyes she pictured Mjolnir flying into her hand, pushing the thought of dire need of the hammer out in case it was a telepathy thing.

 

Thor, Tony, and Steve were in the old gym gearing up for an epic sparring match. Tony had a new suit made from vibranium, thank you T'Challa, that he desperately wanted to test against Thor's hammer. Thor, always up for a spar, was gripping Mjolnir tightly ready to strike as soon as Tony gave the go word. When, suddenly, the hammer started to jerk in his hand, as if it was trying to leave his grip. He tightened his grip reflexively, looking down at Mjolnir curiously. Steve noticed the hammer's strange behavior too.

 

"What's going on with your hammer, Thor?" at his question Tony looked up from his unfinished gauntlet. He retracted his facemask and eyed Thor's hammer oddly.

 

"Mjolnir is being summoned." Thor answered distractedly. Then the lightbulb went on and he shouted.

 

"Mjolnir is being summoned! Darcy!"

 

With that, he was off, Mjolnir pulling him in the direction of his betrothed. Steve and Tony were right behind him, with Steve calling in the rest of the team. In remarkable time they made it to the dilapidated warehouse, why was it always a warehouse? Without stopping, trusting the Cap and Iron Man to take out the enemy, Thor followed Mjolnir to where it was summoned. He burst through a wall hammer first into the small room Darcy was crouched in. her eyes had been shut tight in concentration, hand outstretched waiting when he'd made a Thor shaped hole in the wall. She grinned widely, relief obvious, and jumped straight into his waiting arms.

 

"Did I totally summon Mjolnir or what? 'Cause I didn't expect you to be attached." Thor kissed her hard before answering.

 

"Your summoning of my weapon alerted us to your situation. We followed Mjolnir to you."

 

"So, what you're saying is Mjolnir is Lassie." And Darcy couldn't deal. Her stomach hurt from the hysterical laughter. Thor was confused as usual, though he was sure that she was insulting his mighty hammer again. He was too relieved for her safety to be offended. So he wasn't going to ask her what a Lassie was.

 

Later, when everyone (especially Tony) started calling his hammer Lassie he looked up the reference. He was highly offended, even though he could see the similarity, and was only appeased when Darcy introduced his "hammer" to doggie style. She also managed to convince the others to stop calling Mjolnir Lassie, to his face anyway. Except in Tony's case, where hammer and dog jokes were a constant source of entertainment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently taking requests for the final chapter of this drabble series. If you want to see something in particular leave me a comment. It doesn't have to follow the plot too closely, can be past, present or future setting. If it makes my fingers itch to write it I will.


	7. Snickerdoodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: Sitwell smells like snickerdoodles.

Darcy and Thor had been in Asgard for nearly six months, working on the appeal for Loki's release, so they hadn't heard anything about the fall of SHIELD. Until now. Steve, and his new BFF Sam Wilson, had filled them in on the Winter Soldier (Who turned out to be Bucky freakin' Barnes WTF?), HYDRA's infiltration of SHIELD to the highest level (Also WTF?!), and how the Black Widow had released all of SHIELD's well kept secrets on the interweb. That part was a little awesome for Darcy, she was so googling that shit later.

Still, Darcy thought her head might explode from everything she'd just heard. Especially that Sitwell was a HYDRA plant. Agent iPod Thief's replacement was really a bad guy. Agent would have been furious, you know if he'd been alive. He may have even let it show on his normally expressionless face. Darcy had only met Sitwell once, but hadn't felt anything off about him. He seemed like someone's well-adored grandson.

 

"That's some heavy shit, Cap. I'm sorry about your friend. But, silver lining, you met Sam." Steve smiled at her fondly, but a little sadly too. Sam, appreciating that ego stroke, winked at Darcy and offered to be her newest BFF. They could make Avengers memes together, and Darcy was all for some Captain Kitty memes. Sam was awesome, she decided.

 

Thor had wanted to announce Loki's pseudo parole to his teammates, but in light of recent events, Darcy decided it wasn't a good time. Also Clint was back from who the hell knew where (seriously, why wasn't he at SHIELD when shit hit the fan?), and totally still had a hate boner for Loki. Couldn't blame him for it. Probably wouldn't be tactful to celebrate his mind rapist's freedom. Partial freedom that is, Loki's magic was limited now, his secret passage ways to other realms closed, and he was not allowed to leave Asgard. Ever. Still, Clint wouldn't be happy, so Darcy and Thor kept their mouths shut.

 

"How could we not know he was a bad guy?" for a moment Darcy thought Clint was talking about Loki, and then remembered where the real time conversation actually was.

 

"I mean, he totally made us disband after the Chituari Invasion. That should have been a red flag."  
The others were nodding agreement, and supplying more hints Sitwell had dropped to his true nature. They all looked disgusted at their inability to see through him. Until Darcy made an inarguable point.

 

"Snickerdoodles." She said.

 

"Is that some sort of curse?" Steve looked perplexed, so did the others actually.

 

"No." she giggled. 

"Sitwell smells like snickerdoodles. Or, well, he did. How could you be a terrorist and smell like grandma's homemade cookies?"  
No one argued that point. Not because it was sound logic, sorry Darcy, but because they honestly didn't know what to say to that. On the other hand, in Tony's case.

 

"I'm hungry. JARVIS, order snickerdoodles."


	8. Facebook Has Gone to the Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon: When Thor joins social media, he has a ton of pictures from press, various Avengers, and SHIELD databases to choose from, but he digs up the first picture Darcy ever took of him that day at the diner in New Mexico and uses it for all of his profile pictures.

It took many frustrating days, weeks really, for Darcy to teach Thor how to navigate social media. In the end, she only allowed him Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, everything else was off limits to the technologically inept God of Thunder. Eventually he managed to figure it all out, at least to the extent he no longer asked her for help, and when he finally noticed his profile pictures, he knew how to fix them. 

The pictures weren't bad, some were quite good having been professionally done, but Thor wanted something more personal. He enlisted the help of his shield-brother the Man of Iron to find the perfect picture. Once Tony knew it was a picture taken by Darcy on their first meeting, and that SHIELD had made her delete it, he was able to retrieve it from cyber-purgatory easily. It was such a Thor thing to do, and mushy to the extreme, that Tony didn't even rag him for it, well not much anyway. He was Tony Stark after all, he had a rep to uphold, but he kept it at a minimum and secretly found it to be a nice sentiment. He would deny it on pain of death, but he instructed JARVIS to record Darcy's reaction when she discovered the change of profile picture.

 

Darcy noticed it the instant it was made, since she'd set all of her shared social media to ping when Thor did anything on them. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar picture, and her eyes teared up embarrassingly. She'd thought the picture was lost forever, and had shamelessly mourned it. Here it was though, set as Thor's profile picture on all three of his social media outlets. Somehow the dopey alien had managed to find the most important picture in her world, and had put it up for everyone to see with a status that read; The first picture ever taken of my image was captured, much as my heart was, by my Lady Darcy. Seriously, if she hadn't already agreed to she would have married him for that alone. Thor may be a bumbling fool most of the time when it came to Midgardian ways, but he knew her inside and out. There was nothing bumbling about his love for her, or how he showed it.

 

"Love, what is the matter?" Thor, the most amazing man she'd ever known, asked with a note of alarmed concern. She hadn't realized that the tears building in her eyes had spilled over. He heart simply overflowing with love for the alien.

 

"I saw your picture." She whispered, voice choked with emotion.

 

"Are these tears good tears?" he asked with hope.

 

"Yes." Darcy threw her arms around his neck and clung to him like a vine. 

"I love you. I can't believe you did it, Thor, it means so much. You can't know how much it means." She was blubbering like a love-sick bitch and she didn't even care. Thor gripped her tightly, his chest filling with the, familiar to him now, warmth of love for her.

 

"It is the most precious of images to me, because it was taken by you before I knew how much you would mean to me. It took only days after you captured that image for me to realize that you were everything to me. It is the only picture I would want." And she cried harder, kissing him wetly. Hysterical laughter, and tears of love and joy mingled together. Thor was soon caught up in the joy, kissing her back strongly. It wasn't long before the kiss turned heated, and things progressed rather quickly from there. JARVIS wisely deduced that was his cue to stop the recording, much to Tony's chagrin.

 

The next day, after a long night spent making love, Darcy changed her profile pictures. When Thor's phone pinged with the notification, his heart burst with emotions mirrored in his widening smile. Darcy had found Tony's recording of her reaction and instead of being pissed had asked JARVIS to upload a still-shot of the moment when Thor looked into her misty eyes before she'd kissed him. Their love was shining bright and beautiful for everyone to see. It became Thor's second favorite photo, and he tagged himself in it so that it would remain on his timeline for years to come. Not even their future wedding photos could outshine the depth of the ones they'd chosen as their profile pictures. Sometimes the little things count the most. A grinning, oblivious alien in a diner in New Mexico with a mouth full of pancakes and coffee, and an embrace between two souls tied irrevocably and inseparably together captured by the people who love them frozen in time.


	9. What Happens at a Stark Party...

"I'm throwing you an engagement party. Be in the party room at nine." Tony announced, without preamble, to Darcy upon entering the labs. Even having lived with the man for nearly a year and a half now, she often found herself lost and confused around him. One minute she was engrossed in correlating data, and the next Tony was talking of throwing parties. Not really unusual if you know the man, but since he and Pepper had settled down there hadn't been a lot of his bachelor-era escapades.

 

"What?" she questioned intelligently. Tony gave a long-suffering sigh, like he couldn't understand how the lower life forms of the Tower couldn't keep up with his non-linear thinking patterns.

 

"Party, nine o'clock, party room, your engagement. Got it? Great, I'll have Pepper send you the deets, make sure Thor doesn't wear his battle armor, there will be civilians present." With that, he walked out, leaving Darcy no less confused. In the end, she decided not to worry about it and got back to work.

 

Two hours later Pepper strode into the labs, looking powerful in a sexy red business suit and sky high heels. She explained to Darcy that Tony had felt a little left out of the impending nuptials of his two favorite Tower members, and had decided that morning to throw them an engagement party. His blindsiding her with the announcement was his way of avoiding showing he cared that much about her. What Darcy took from Pepper's long-winded explanation was that Darcy Lewis was Tony's favorite, and she was so not going to let him forget it. She went in search of Thor to let him know there was a party in their honor happening tonight, and that he wasn't allowed to wear his armor, also she wanted him to get his hands on that kick-ass Asgardian mead. She had sampled some on her latest visit to Asgard to make plans for their wedding, and after half a tankard had had to retire to her chambers. Thankfully, alien mead, though potent as hell, didn't give one a hangover. She figured if the stuff could get Thor and Volstagg drunk it should work on the super-resilient people of the Tower (i.e. Steve, and Natasha.). This was going to be one hell of an engagement party. Darcy couldn't wait.

 

Turns out Thor didn't just acquire Asgardian mead, he had Loki charm it as an extra measure. Two tall glasses in and Steve was drunk for the first time in his life. The super soldier was the life of the party type of drunk. He forgot all about how he was supposed to be this shy, bashful, can't talk to pretty dames without choking on spit, American icon. He charmed the panties off the ladies at the party, most impressive of all being Agent Hill. He'd managed to make her blush and giggled, which quite frankly was terrifying, and had taken her for a spin on the dance floor. Apparently, his super soldier agility made him a natural at swing dancing. Pretty soon all the ladies, men on their arms or not, wanted a turn with Captain America. Darcy even took a spin around the dance floor with him, and squealed with laughter when he flipped her upside down over his shoulder in an impressive move during a Charleston dance off.

 

Natasha, who knew the moment she sampled the charmed mead that she could get heavily intoxicated, had limited herself to one glass and a light buzz. Which made her the openly affectionate drunk type, but not in a slutty way. No, she kept her affections to one, completely sober, blushing Bruce Banner. It didn't take long for the former Russian to have Bruce eating out of the palm of her hand. Literally, she'd nabbed some chocolate covered raisins, and made Bruce eat them out of her hands. Eventually the two of them left the party holding hands, and Tony made a mental note to razz the good Doctor about it once he got over his coming hangover.

 

Thor was hilariously drunk, he'd been toasting his and Darcy's upcoming wedding vows, throwing his glass down every time he drained it demanding another. Darcy couldn't be sure, but she thought she counted at least ten so far. After the first jovial toast, Thor had seemingly forgotten he'd had Loki charm the liquor, and had been downing glass after glass without a care. He was by far the most drunk, even Tony was more sober. Darcy couldn't pass up the opportunity for drunken shenanigans, especially being drunk herself. She had had a half glass of charmed mead, and several shots of mortal tequila. She got Clint, Tony, and Thor to join her in an impromptu Coyote Ugly reenactment on the bar. They danced and sang along to Pour Some Sugar by Def Leopard, and Pepper, surprisingly, made JARVIS record it all. Thor throwing his head back and dumping water on himself would forever remain the funniest Stark Party memory of all time.

 

Despite all the hangovers, of the ones who drank Midgardian liquor, everyone came away from the party with good memories, or no memories, which were just as well considering, and they all deemed it a major success. It was the best engagement party in history, well until Tony and Pepper's but that's another story entirely. Darcy was so happy and grateful that she returned the favor by inviting Tony and Pepper to the Asgardian wedding. Tony had to discreetly turn away to wipe his eyes when Darcy told him he was crazy if he thought she was going to get married without her favorite man of the Tower giving her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am Currently working on the final chapter of this little fic, but I just got a new job so it may be a little while before I get it posted.


	10. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Married with Children.

Marriage, the beginning of a beautiful life with her one true love, or something equally sappy. That is what Darcy had imagined. What she hadn’t imagined was Ultron, Sokovia, the Accords, or Ragnarok. Why was Hulk in space? Why did Loki’s crazy daughter take over Asgard? Why was all of Thor’s hair chopped off?

Of course she knew Loki wasn’t really on Hel’s side, but it still hurt everyone to see. He’d been playing double agent, it’s what he did best, and he was instrumental in stopping the end of times. She was so proud of him, and would have gushed all over him about it, if it hadn’t been for the lack of Thor’s glorious hair.

“Aw, hair no.” she whined again. She’d been doing that an awful lot since being reunited with him. He just smiled adoringly down at her, as he’d been doing since being reunited. Loki just chuckled, as he’d been doing since being reunited. Darcy always made him laugh, though her odd behavior also made him suspicious. She’d been bouncing back and forth from humor to tears. It was disconcerting. Especially since he had never witnessed her cry, not even at her admittedly beautiful and moving wedding.

“It shall grow back, love.” Thor assured her, for the umpteenth time.

“H-hair, no.” she sniffled. Gone was her humor, again, and the tears were back, again. Loki looked at her curiously as Thor attempted to comfort her. Thor shot a panicky look at his brother, but Loki was of no help. 

Even if he could help, why would he? Sure he loved his brother, though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, and he loved his sister-in-law, as the mortals call it, but he hadn’t been the one to marry her. It wasn’t his job to comfort her. Laughter, mischief, even anger he could manage, but not tears. Never tears.

“Love, it is just hair. Whatever is the matter? You are usually not like this. Is it because I was in peril, and you could not reach me?” Thor had no tact, Loki was truly inspired by his brother’s romantic blunders.

“No, though that sucked balls, and you had better never do that again. I mean, we’re going to have a baby, you can’t be in peril and unreachable when we have a baby.” Ah, Loki thought, so that is what this is all about. In true Thor fashion he completely missed it.  
“ I promise, when the time of babes comes, I shall endeavor to remain always at your side, dear heart.” Thor vowed solemnly.

“Really truly?” Darcy asked, smirking with mischief, Loki loved when she did that. It always meant a good laugh, usually at Thor’s expense.

“Truly.” He answered. Her smile grew, and Loki rubbed his hands in anticipation. Watching the two as one would a mortal tennis match.

“Good, because we’re going to have one in about six months, give or take.”

Thor did not disappoint. He stared for three minutes, not blinking, Loki suspected he wasn’t even breathing. His suspicions were confirmed when, without warning Thor fainted. Loki cackled, while Darcy shook her head.

“Does Asgard have smelling salts?”   
   
Loki would forever tell the story of how Thor fainted at finding out he was to be a father, then again when the babes were born. He had been exuberant and boastful over the birth of his first born, until the healer announced the birth of his second, then third, right after the first. Three babes in one go. Loki would have expected Thor to be disgustingly more boastful, yet he surprised him when he fell right over in a dead faint.

Apparently, three babes at once were too much for the God of Thunder to cope with without forewarning. Darcy held that fact over his head for much of the first two years of their lives. Any time the babes would cry she would look to him.

“You need the practice Daddy Thunder. You don’t want to faint in a crisis again do you?” even when this happened in private, Loki would somehow know and would cackle wherever he was at the time.

The years went by quickly, and hilariously, and the babes grew to children. The oldest, a son destined for the throne, was Loki’s favorite. Though he would never say it aloud, for fear Darcy would cut out his tongue. He was Thor’s mirror image in appearance, but was mischief reborn. At five, the bards were already signing songs of his antics, and Uncle Loki shed a tear or two of pride. The middle child, also a son, was the perfect mix of Thor and Darcy, her eyes and Thor’s coloring. He was Darcy’s little man surprisingly. He was such a serious child, quick to laugh, but with a solemn look in his eyes more often than not. The youngest, a daughter, had Thor wrapped around her finger, and was the spitting image of her mother. 

By the time the children were ten life had managed peace. On Earth and on Asgard. Loki was still banned from Midgard, though the campaign for his full pardon was underway, and spearheaded by Queen Darcy. For that reason she, Thor, and their children didn’t make it to Midgard very often, but when they did the whole team, and their families, showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this ended a little abruptly, but with writers block I couldn't do anything else with it. Being a single mom of a four year old with a new puppy, and writing original work I don't have the time or energy to devote to a full length fic at the moment. Perhaps there will be a sequel to this when I have the time. Thanks for reading!


End file.
